My heart wan
ders. In the pursuit of the Bridegroom, one of the first things that has occurred is I see how distracted, how disloyal I am, in all my pursuits of other things, in pursuit of gaining the favor of human beings and wanting to be affirmed by others.
Since I made this commitment to pursue the Bridegroom and Him alone, all the ‘personal agenda’ motives in my own heart have risen up and tried to accomplish mutiny! My flesh doesn’t want to be unnoticed by humans around me, to be unsung in the earthly realm! I am dead in Jesus, yes, it’s true, but in laying down all else to know him, I see just how much the ‘old, dead me’ tries to come back and haunt me from the grave.
I am also alive in Jesus. But, how can I love you purely, Jesus? How can I be devoted to you alone? The dictionary definition of devotion is, “love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity or cause.”
When Jesus walked in the earth He only did what he saw Father God doing. He is completely devoted to Father God, never independent of him, entirely loyal, entirely loving. They are always together, always in each other, always one. Jesus is always yielded to the Father, doing the Father’s will.
In the garden of Eden, Adam and God had this same kind of perfect union, without any separation. Adam’s relationship was like the relationship that exists between Jesus and Father: he just ‘naturally’ did God’s will, never independent of him, always loyal, always loving.
Jesus restored me to that kind of relationship, to walking in perfect union and dependence with God, through the cross and through being resurrected in him.
But in pursuit of the Lover, in pursuit of Jesus alone as my bridegroom, I need the Holy Spirit to come and be love in me. I am convinced I cannot love purely without Him. He is love, and He, living in me is how I will love purely, love with devotion. I cannot, on my own, love Jesus wholly and purely.
Think Peter before Pentecost, and then compare Peter after the Holy Spirit comes. The difference is as obvious as night and day.
So, Come, Holy Spirit, fill me with love for the Bridegroom. Give me devotion, loyal and loving devotion that supersedes all earthly desires for the praise of humans. I cannot love on my own strength. Holy Spirit, I ask you for love that satisfies Jesus. Give me devoted love for the Lover that makes Him happy and full of joy.
Jesus, let me find my satisfaction in you alone.
